Hundreds of years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the land…a mutant species of furry creatures ruled the Earth.
At first glance they appeared as lovable animals, ones like we have never seen in modern times, mutated hybrids of different species. Disguised as lovable animals, these beings enjoyed a hedonistic existence of fast food, oxycotton, and unlubricated sodomy.
Small in stature, they were aggressive and inconspicuous, elements that were necessary for survival amongst the dinosaurs. With time and the discovery of poppy plants, these little creatures began a stoned reign of terror, humping anything in their path and by anything I mean ducks, chickens and other creatures with a large sphincter and ones that lays eggs.
The dinosaurs would soon vanish, but the furry creatures would survive and thrive…that is until man showed up. Yes, over the last hundred years, these furry creatures have had to exist in the shadows of urban life, hiding in the uninhabited locations of civilized society – voting booths, libraries, parks, and strip malls.
The government discovered their existence at the turn of 20th century and did their best to hunt them down. Classified documents have dubbed them “Freak Furz” but they prefer the name “Furry Sodomites.” With their discovery, the famed hunting team of Watkins and Smith were employed by the government to see that all of the creatures were destroyed, their corpses kept for record by the family in a private collection. The job was not completed however as Watkins and Smith would mysteriously disappear in the mid-50s.
Their legacy would not be forgotten by their great grandchildren who have now picked up with where they left off. But in order to continue their mission of hunting these Freak Furz they would have to get funding.
Now for the first time, the Watkins and Smith family have released the corpses of these Freak Furz to the public. With your payment going directly to their mission of fighting these ass loving, oxycotton-taking, poppy seed popping sodomites.
Join us as we present the Freak Furz.
posted by willy wats' wacky world of wonder @ 1:34 PM
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